Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Follying after months!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Yes I know I'm late and we're almost half way through it. But hey as they say... better late than never. (Who the hell are "they"? Ever wondered that?)

So 2010 has been a tough year. Went up and down my weighing scale. I'm starting my weight loss journey from scratch again. It's a vicious cycle that puts me on and off the wagon. Everytime I'm on it, the first few days I'm all yeah lets work out, lets eat healthy, lets cut down on sweets. But then I don't know what happens. I open my mouth for all the wrong reasons and I'm back to where I started.

I'm not making any promises to anyone that, this year I will be more serious about losing weight because I don't want to see that disappointed look on their faces and that disapproving/pitying head shake.

There have been shockers and smacks in the face about the consequences if I don't lose weight. I am a ticking bomb and anything can happen anytime. Yet after a few weeks of serious workout and healthy eating, I take a dose of "fuck it all" and go back to square one. I know my life will be better when I lose weight because it will open doors to numerous opportunities but the fat girl in me is screaming, "WHY?" "Why do I have to be pretty to get a job?" "Why do I have to be skinny to get a man?" "Why does the whole world revolve around what a person looks like?" "Why the fuck do Vampires sparkle in Twilight?" (Ok everyone's asking that, I guess. hehehe).

Recent physical developments in my life have given me a few shockers. I am scared out of my mind of the big D word. No not death. It's diabetes. It's in my family from both sides (dad had it and mom's mom had it). Maybe I'm a hypochondriac because sometimes I over react to any symptoms. (I was food poisoned last year and I thought I had swine flu). I have checked online for symptoms of high blood pressure and diabetes and it all boils down to my weight because I don't have any of the other symptoms except obesity. I am shit scared to go to a doctor to do any kind of check up. Because I know if something does come up it's going to be the "I told you so" look from people. I know should not care about that but I really am shit scared of finding out if something is wrong with me.

I looked up a few cures and control of diabetes and a big one is weight loss. So here I am embarking on a new journey to lose weight. I don't know if I will fall off the wagon but I will pull myself up and start over again. I'm not starting from day after, next week or tomorrow, but today. I've said it before and you all have heard it. I ask for forgive in advance if anyone is disappointed in the coming months.

And for the first time I will reveal my weight to the world. Only a handful of people know my weight. It's no big secret really. I'm sure many people must have guessed how much I weigh already. So here it is... get ready to MOOO! As of today, 24th May, 2011 my weight is 160 kg. Let me tell you, the day I started taking weight loss really seriously back in 2009, I weighed 168.9 kgs. For a year, on and off the wagon I lost about 15kgs (without much exercise, The Xardian is a clothes rack sometimes but I still go for a spin a couple of times a week).

I started a diet two days ago, thanks to my best friend Sara who inspired me to do so. She started hers last week and I started mine on 22nd May. (I kind of wanted to eat the best food before the end of the world on the 21st lolz)

It's not bad... so far so good. I get monstrously hungry and feel like eating steak, butter and wishing that I should've eaten that Molten Chocolate Lava Cake at Chilis on Saturday. But then again... that will always be around. If I don't keep my diet in check, I might not be around to see 30.

This one is only a 2 week diet that involves little or no carbs. I get my carbs in the form of wholemeal toast and cornflakes. After the diet I will eat right for another two weeks. Indulge in a little sugar and make that canelloni. Then I want to give up meat for two weeks and one thing I want to implement in my life is to eat raw food at least once a week. That is still a long shot because I still can't stand the taste of raw vegetables. So the raw food will most probably be in the form of fruit.

So here's to another round of the Battle of the Bulge. Hope this time I can kick the fat's ass. Until next time my lovelies. I will try to be regular. :)