As you know I've put Fat Girl Follies on hiatus but I couldn't help doing another post. I'm busy working on my other blog Hungry Hungry Parsi, enjoying myself, cooking up a storm and almost burning my eyebrows off. The reason I am posting here, today is that not one person who used to encourage my writing has commented on my last post STOP! or said anything about my new venture.
I was going through this blog yesterday and I realized that what I was writing was utter rubbish when it came to my weight. I felt I was degrading myself. Honestly, I don't mind joking about my weight... I'm a fat girl and I know society doesn't like fat so I'm humoring it and in the end the joke is on them.
Like I said earlier, I have only in recent months come to terms with my body and I love my curves. When I wrote about my weight loss journey, I got a lot of encouragement from everyone and people appreciated my writing. It was only now that I realize that I was not losing weight for myself. I was doing it to please the people around me. Yes, I know that my weight has come in between many things but I expect my family and my friends to love me the way I am.
You guys... yes all you friends and family out there reading this... tell me that it's for my own good. I will be healthy or else I will end up having so many diseases. All that mulled in my mind and at one point I actually freaked out and got an ECG done. My levels are all normal. My pressure, cholesterol and sugar are normal. I can be fat and healthy. Why do people feel, fat = unhealthy, I'll never understand. I have friends who are what society says, "normal weight" with breathing problems, high cholesterol and blood pressure issues. The biggest example I can give you guys is my father, bless his soul. He passed away in 2008 because of heart disease and diabetes. He was never fat or even slightly overweight. He was a boxer when he was young. He was athletic and used to play cricket and volleyball. He didn't have a big sweet tooth either but he ended up having diabetes. Stress and hereditary played a major role. I know I have to be careful because there is a chance I might get diabetes in the future but my weight has got nothing to do with it.
I eat the right things even though I don't munch on salads. I exercise by dancing and cycling. I am doing what my body is capable of doing. And in the process if I lose or put on a few pounds then it's not going to bother me.
What's annoying me right now is that you guys were so supportive and encouraging when I was losing weight. Now, when I have accepted my body and my fat, none of you have said a single word supporting my fat acceptance. I know you guys care about me but like I said... I can be fat and healthy. I just wish you guys would stop trying to change me and love me the way I am. I love you all and wouldn't change anything about either of you. I adore you all for caring about me, I really do but if I am happy in my own skin, why can't you all be happy for me?
Mindspill: Love yourself the way you are, I do!
2 comments:
Farrie,
We all love the way you are...but we are scared of how you would cope in the future. I speak for myself here. Being fat is NOT the only matter here...its about being healthy, and yes EVERYONE has a unique BMI (Body Mass Index) which determines the amount of fat on a person and gives an estimation of how much is needed to loose/gain to maintain a healthy life style. It is awesome that your bloodwork came out good..but thats NOW. What about later...maybe 5 yrs later...maybe 10..? Your body will NOT be as strong as it is right now and when it fails, it fails pretty rapidly most of the time and at that time, even the best of medicine and friends would not be able to elevate your pain. If you live in the misconception that you can continue living a healthy lifestyle for the next 10 yrs with no chance of ill health, then i can state that the odds are definitely against you.
Nobody wants their friends go through trauma and pain and not able to participate in events in each others life cause of health reasons. Maybe you cant go on a trek, maybe cant play soccer with the kids, cant bicycle, cant sleep without a sleep master etc. All those small things adds up to lost moments in ones life, to be honest...in everyone's life who cares about you cause they want you to participate in those events.
Being happy in your own skin is great...being happy is NICE for gods sake..BUT dont fool ureself saying that whatever you are doing atm is not gonna affect your lifestyle in the future. I was well chiseled, 78 kilos of pure muscle 10 yrs ago, today..im well rounded and 78 kilos of poggy fat. Yes..im happy with my life...BUT it does affect me to know that what im doing to myself is not good in the long run. I have started walking regularly, plan to play some sports with some poggy friends and if they dont agree, tie a suicide vest to them and make them play.
I know its hard to loose weight..i know cause im trying to and i dont know how i even gained so much fat BUT each day trying to loose some is a fuckin momentous journey. BUT i try,,,and make weekly goals..all achievable and i try to keep them. All i did was make MINOR changes to my life...just a bit of walking and reducing my intake of colas and started having fruits..I actually eat a lot more than before...same ddiet..rice,chicken,mutton,fish every fukin day...and sunday mutton dhansak for sure...with seconds. Infact, i started maintaining my weight and actually reduced an inch recently. I feel a lot more active..a lot more slimmer and now i feel much more confident & better to run and hack to death those mofos who called me fat.
Therefore, im happy..im livin my life..AND know that i reduce my chances of having any issues later in life and BE A PART of moments with friends and family doin all the weird things. Im also happy cause i just found the correct address of the HEAVEN ON EARTH massage parlor in jogeshwari. I also plan to add that into my schedule to be more happy :D
So yes, be a lil fat...no worries..BUT TRY to maintain and loose weight slowly and steadily, schedule ureself and your goals and maintain it. Trust me, your world will open up to so many things that you missed all this while..things u dont even know existed ( like my HEAVEN ON EARTH massage parlour ). Imagine, u would be able to run behind me after i scared u with a rubber lizard.
Im sorry for the rant but i truly care about u and am truly excited about the massage parlor... :D
M
Ok M,
You are one of my best friends and I love you for your concern. But what makes you think that in 10 years I won't be healthy? How do I make you understand that FAT does not equal to UNHEALTHY?? I do have a healthy lifestyle... because of my previous diets I am used to eating food that has less or no oil, low salt, less sugar. Just because I don't enjoy eating salads and raw vegetables does not mean I'm not healthy. Just because I don't workout like a maniac does not mean I'm not healthy. My lifestyle and choices are much better than what they were before. I am just not obsessed with losing weight like I used to be. That is unhealthy.
Yes, age will catch up to my body but I have made a few changes in my lifestyle just so I don't have ill health in the future.
As for being a part of moments... trekking and camping... I've done it... did not enjoy it not because of my weight because I am just not an outdoorsy type person. Playing soccer... I don't even watch it. I don't like it. It's not because of my weight. I enjoy basketball and have played it since school. Just because I'm not a sporty person does not mean it's because of my weight. Cycling... again sporty and outdoorsy... will not enjoy it NOT because I'm fat.
You wouldn't judge a thin or what you consider a "healthy" person if they didn't enjoy sports or trekking. Why would you judge a fat person?
So I can't run... my body can't do it... but why would I??? I never liked running races even in school and back then I was not so fat.
And please... stop thinking fat as a bad word. Don't find it insulting if people call you fat especially if you are not. Because I find that insulting to me.
I don't need to justify myself anymore... I just want people to stop telling me that being fat is a curse. IT IS NOT.
- F
PS: You are not fat. And it's ok even if you are. You'd still be that funny, goofy, weirdo who hits on me in front of his girlfriend... creepily with his girlfriend. Hope your massages have "Happy Endings" lolz
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