Hello dahlings? Eww no.. that's sooo la dee da! I'll stick to minions! So helloooo minions! How's everyone doing today? Yes I'm a bit late on the note but I sort of lost my writing mojo on Thursday. I think it's all that Family Guy I've been watching last week. Some Peter Griffin-isms probably rubbed off on me for a bit. I do like that show though. It's hilarious!
Anyways... once or twice a year I get these overwhelming feelings and I'm sure a lot of women have experienced the same thing. I'm talking about when the biological clock goes off. It's when you get these maternal urges after spending time taking care of kids or seeing a friend's new baby's pictures (Congrats again Mel! She's gorgeous!).
Now my biological clock doesn't just go off... it explodes. I sooo want to be a mommy and I can't wait to have a brood of my own. Depending on my situation in the future, I want three kids but hey... I'll be happy with just one little munchkin. Or I might just adopt two kids.
I can just imagine my kids... they're gonna be so damn hyper like me. My parents had dreams of me becoming a doctor or a scientist but I'm going to let them be what they want to be but of course I'll have those ROCKSTAR and artist dreams for them. Teach them the history of good music. Make sure they watch quality television and not creepy garbage like Sponge Bob Square Pants or the Teletubbies. I'll make them watch old fashioned cartoons where a mouse drops an anvil on a cat or a cyote trying to blow up a bird or a bald guy chasing a duck and a wabbit! And the best learning program that ever was... Sesame Street!!! (Chari... absolutely NO HELLO KITTY!)
There are times when I think... what if I don't end up getting married... should I really consider getting it done scientifically? Get a man in a cup? Because to have a kid I just need some good swimmers. I had a very funny conversation with my friend Sara the other day...
Me: My biological clock exploded Sara.
Sara: Just get pregnant, Farah! Make me an auntie!!
Me: I need a man first... or maybe some of his swimmers. (And if I don't want disapproving looks from people... probably a marriage certificate)
Sara: Get Adam and his swimmers!
Farah: Eh? Who the heck is Adam? (and I'm thinking of an Adam who reminds me of Elmer Fudd with hair!)
Sara: No no... that one who keeps tellin' ya..."Madam.. I am your Adam!"
Yeah I sorta burst out laughing after that.
It's not funny?? Oh well... I guess you just had to be there!
No matter where my man is from or where I am in this world... I'll make sure my kids don't forget their Indian roots. Every Wednesday will be Bollywood appreciation night! lolz I'd sooner stick a fork in my eye if my kids say something like, "Bollywood sucks. They're just dancing around trees!"
I know there will be a lot of moments where they will give me a hard time and I will say stuff like,
"Fergus, sit down and finish your homework, young man!"
"Optimus, take that finger out of your nose!"
"Voldemort... did you poop your pants again?"
"I don't care if the other girls have cell phones Farah Jr., you're just 7!"
"You're not getting any dessert until you finish those vegetables, Jack Sparrow!" (I wonder if he'll answer back like... "Captain Jack Sparrow, if you don't mind!)
"Asht, stop watching Family Guy... your impression of Stewie wanting to take over the world is really starting to worry me!"
But hey if my parents could do a pretty ok job with me, like their parents did a great job with them, I think I might pass my kids up as decent members of humanity! For now... I'm putting the biological clock on snooze again!
PS: Those names I mentioned... are not what I've picked for my children. I might consider Farah Jr. though.
"Be nice to your kids. They will be the ones to pick your retirement home!"