Monday, July 5, 2010

Warning: Beware of Vegetarians!

Monday morning! Being unemployed I sleep late and wake up by 10 am usually but today somehow I was up by 6:30. I lolled in bed till 8 and finally managed to crawl out from under the blanket. I am not a morning person. When I was working in Dubai I used to wake up everyday at 4:30 am why? Because to go to that end of the world, I had to catch a bus at 5:30. With the traffic and all, I just had to leave at that time and sometimes I wouldn't even reach by 8:30. Then again at 7 I had to catch the bus to come home to Sharjah and by the time I reached my doorstep it was 9 pm. And by the time I got to bed it would be 11:30 and actually got to sleep would be 12:30. So yours truly was running on 4 hours of sleep every night and lots and lots of coffee! Even now I woke up 3 hours ago and I'm on my 4th cup of coffee. (Thank you Dez for the coffee maker!)

Ahhh vegetarians... boy do they make you feel guilty about eating meat! I love meat! Chicken, beef, seafood, turkey, mutton, pork (ohhhhhhh bacon *Homer Simpson drool*), bat, hell give me a comodo dragon, I'll eat it. Ok maybe not and no I have not switched personalities with Ozzy Osbourne, so I won't be biting off a bat's head in this lifetime!

So, I was having a chat with this dude I met online and he turned out to be the baap (um... best described as big daddy) of all vegetarians. He was a vegan. A vegan is someone who doesn't just gives up meat but gives up any kind of animal product like honey, milk from cow, goat etc, wool. Now I have nothing against vegans or vegetarians but I hate it when they get preachy. This guy was telling me stuff like how I am a savage since I eat meat. According to him an animal's milk is only for it's offspring and not for human consumption. His exact words were, "How would you feel if your breast milk was packaged and sold to the general public?" Doesn't he paint a pretty picture? And after all that preaching, he asked me, "So... what are you wearing?" He now lies in the deleted spaces of the internet and I have taken down my profile from "". I have given up on the bawas (Parsi guys) on that website. (But that's another story for next time)

Getting back to vegetarians... I have come across a group of people who call themselves vegetarians but they still eat fish. Um excuse me but since when was fish a fruit or a vegetable? To quote a song from a Sharukh Khan movie, "Ped se tod le machliyaan" which translates to "pick a fish from a tree"... yeah that song's a little insane. Infact the song title is "I am insane" lolz. Love it and love SRK!

Back to the point. So do fish grow on trees or do you pull them from the ground? Sorry boss... you can't call yourself a vegetarian if you eat fish. Because fish are very much living, breathing beings that feel pain too. In fact they have the worse death ever!! Imagine... you're swimming around minding your own business and suddenly you see a tasty treat dangling in front of you. You take a bite and OMG a hook's in your mouth. You're struggling to get free but the hook just gets in deeper and you're pulled upwards to the surface where you then flop around gasping for air till a big mallet hits on the head and you die! I paint a pretty good picture too, don't I? At least with most land animals it's one chop and bam... instant farm heaven! (I am so picturing cows and chickens floating on clouds with Angel wings, halos, playing the harp)

Come to think of it even plants are living things. Just because they don't bleed when you rip them off from their roots or trees, doesn't make them less alive. So should we give all that up and start eating gravel, rocks and sand? Doesn't make any sense, right? Chocolate mud pie would have a whole new meaning after this!

So a request to all vegetarians... you guys are wonderful people who are not eating animals and I commend you for that. I really do. I even tried to give up meat once but it just didn't work. I was a vegan for two weeks on a doctor's orders because of an allergic reaction from something. But please don't get preachy and holy than thou with us meat eaters. You don't see an antelope tell a lion to give up meat right? It's a circle of life. We eat the meat and when we die we become the grass or bird food. (Bawas and Bawis... you know what I'm talkin' about. Aavi jaao, chaapi jaao lolz)

Plus if you really want to pick on people who do harm to animals, pick on those who wear fur, treat their pets miserably, circus owners that keep wild animals like big cats and elephants and make them do tricks at the crack of a whip and even people with race horses. The horse is shot if it can't race anymore. Same goes for greyhounds who are bred for dog races. They are put to sleep if they lose 3 or 4 races. Then there are those who love to meddle with mama nature and breed hybrid creatures like ligers (male lion + female tiger). And if you want to be really shocked, go on down to Tijuana, Mexico and check out the Donkey Show. Trust me... after that trip, you will spare us meat eaters!


I love all of God's animals. Espeically with gravy and mashed potatoes on the side!

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