Monday, July 5, 2010

I'm really flattered, but I'd make a terrible girlfriend!

Hello my lovely minions! How's everyone doing?

So this week I want to share a couple of experiences I've had when it comes to romance. Women... adore me. I have been hit on by women more than men. Apparently I give off some lesbian vibe. Either that or they think that just because I'm fat and I don't have a man next to me, I'm probably gay. Another stereotype! The first time a woman hit on me was in the ladies room of a club. She was this old, white lady who put her arm around waist, rubbed my butt and said.. "Well, you're thick and nice!" (when I see you guys remind me to do the accent... it's sooo funny) Sure she was drunk out of her mind but yeah the butt rubbing really freaked me out.

The second incident, was I was in the ladies room of a club (do you guys sense a pattern here? lolz) and this chick was like, "Hi... you're really cute. Are you partying at Mirchi?" And I was like "Thanks but no I was at Times and I'm heading home now." And she was like, "Aww that's too bad. Maybe I'll see you around." And I was like, "Sure. Bye now." I wasn't freaked out and she wasn't drunk. I didn't really pay much attention to it. The next week I was at the same place and she saw me and was like, "Hey remember we met in the bathroom last week?" And I was like, "Yeah hey, how are you?" And again she said, "Oh you really are sooo cute. Can I kiss you?" There was an awkward pause but then I was like, "Girl, I'm flattered and you are pretty but I don't swing that way. Plus I'd make a terrible girlfriend." And she looks at me and is like, "Oh no... no no! I'm not like that. I-I mean... you're cute and you have great skin and you remind me of my mom!" Yeah I just wanted to dig a hole right there and crawl into it. Honestly, at that point I'd rather be mistaken for a lesbian lolz. Dear Lord... do I really look that old? Of course I felt that mom comment was just to get back at me for not kissing her. Women are like that. Straight or gay... we get catty/bitchy when we don't get what we want. hahaha God bless the men who put up with us!

Now, speaking of homosexuality... I'm not gay. If I was... I'd be loud and proud! Like I'm loud and proud about me being fat. I really don't see what the big deal is. So your daughter likes boobs and your son likes dongs. They can't help it if they're gay. People have accepted interracial relationships but are still iffy about same sex marriages. Grow up. The world is changing. Being gay is not just about sex. They deal with the same issues everyone does in a relationship. I love watching Queer as Folk. I learned so much about the gay lifestyle. Plus, that Brian Kinney is soooooooooooooo hot and I absolutely adore Emmet. I wish I had a gay friend like Emmett.

So my lovelies... yeah I won't be talking just about my weight issues. It might get stale after sometime.

Mindspill of the week:

"If you ask me, nobody makes a better woman than a gay man." Emmett, Queer as Folk

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